My cousin PJ gets crazy just as much as he can
A real party reptile for a northern man
He's dressed like a republican
He thinks conservative
But he drives faster than I ever did

He's into nuclear power and insider deals
He has a scene with baby oil and heels
He's my favorite politician
When he comes on weird
Says I'm not fit for this office let's get out of here

My, my, loves his ma and apple pie
Well, well, he's the party's favorite guy
I hope you like it
You know I'm going to take good care of you
I hope you like it
I hope next time you bring your friends with you

He's a drinkin', huntin', shootin', fishin' son of a gun
He knows a surgeon's gonna keep his wife young
Got industrial kickbacks in an offshore bank
Knows who to stand on and he knows how to thank

I hope you like it
You know I'm going to take good care of you
I hope you like it
I hope next time you bring your friends with you
My, my, loves his ma and apple pie
Well, well, he's the party's favorite guy

He likes to come take me for a night with the boys
He talks about the NRA and their toys
Got an automatic rifle in his pick up truck
He drives me home when he's in no state to walk

My, my, loves his ma and apple pie
Well, well, he's the party's favorite guy
I hope you like it
You know I'm going to take good care of you
I hope you like it
I hope next time you bring your friends with you

I hope you like it
Love it, like it
I hope you like it
Love it, like it