We fell in love
Down at the pier
You were sunbathing
I was around

Soon we were sharing
A beer
We fell in love
At the pier

I'm no sentimental slob
So don't think I'm queer
You got somethin', baby
And it ain't just my beer

Well, maybe it's the hot pants
Maybe the heat
Or was it the sneakers
You kicked off your feet?
Hey!

I sat under my umbrella
To keep my pearly skin
You tanned your oily body
Looking like sin

Well, soon I was sweatin'
And I wanted to leave
You slipped into the water
From too much grease
Whoo!

Well, I saw you yelling
I just couldn't hear
So I screamed back at ya:
"Honey, keep the beer!"
Whoah!

We never consummated
Our outside love affair
Too much tar and water
Too much hot air

Oh, what a tragic end
To love that was lost
We would have stood a chance
If we met in the frost, but...

We fell in love
Down at the pier
You were sunbathing
I was around

Now I go to beaches
With my girlfriend
Now no more love splinters
In my rear end