For coughs and colds ans scabby holes
Itchy pimples, unseemly moles
For funny turns and chinese burns
For aching heads we're not concerned
For staying lively, getting it nightly
This we guarantee

That's Ultranol, here's the new remedy
Before you go to bed take 2 or 3
When you wake you'll feel better
lalalalala lalalalala
lalalalala lalalalala

For aches and pains and jellied brains
Help you sleep and smile again
They're aimless, blameless, almost nameless
You get much more although you pay less
Revitalise that sexual drive
In fact be born again

Yes Ultranol will put you on the map
Take 4 or 5 then have a little nap
When you wake up you'll feel better

For coughs and colds and your scabby holes
lalalalala lalalalala
Keep you young although you're feeling old
lalalalala lalalalala
If you're not protected you're gonna get it
lalalalala lalalalala
So suck them and see you won't regret it
lalalalala lalalalala

Suck them and see
Suck them and see
Suck them and see
Suck them and see