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The Hills: 'Going To Semi-Formal With Him Does Not Make Him Your Boyfriend' [Words Of Wisdom]

newVideoPlayer("hills6_defamer.flv", 463, 387,""); Hey, where's Kristin Cavallari? And Jason Wahler? And that one chick with the huge cans? Oh, hi there! In case you hadn't noticed, Molly is out sick today, which leaves your Uncle Grambo the pleasure of being your host for this week's installment of "The Hills: Words Of Wisdom." Truth be told, I have never seen an episode of the show, which leaves me relatively unprepared to contextualize the goings-on of this band of famepires. While I harbor no doubts that a fair number of Defamer readers actually enjoy The Hills (regardless of whether you like it as a show or as a cultural phenomenon), I'm guessing (hoping?) that most of you are not watching this to catch up on the plot summary. Rather, you're watching it for the same reason that I do, which is because it enables us to wallow around in the schadenfreude like a pig rolls around in mud on a hot summer's day. So, with that, please enjoy this week's episode (crafted lovingly, as always, by Molly McAleer). [MTV] WATCH VIDEO

Published: 2008-04-29 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Clips, Heidi Montag, lauren conrad, the hills, words of wisdom

Chihuahua Army Craps Gold For Disney [Monday Morning Box Office]

Hard times got you down? Well don't expect the weekend's box office numbers to cheer you up any: 1. Beverly Hills Chihuahua - $29 million Since we first glimpsed its trailer—a jaw-dropping depiction of 45,000 CGI chihuahuas line-kicking to a song about burrito condiments on the steps of a Mayan ruin—we've made little secret of our obsession with this movie. Sadly, a painful ingrown toenail prevented us (yes—all three of us; when one is hurts, the others feel it just as deeply) from actually paying to see it. Enough did, however, to earn Disney its highest-ever October opening. They were mostly struggling American families, looking in this canine rags-to-riches story for a distraction from their growing financial woes, like Little Orphan Annie did during the Great Depression. Unfortunately, the plan largely backfired, as all hungry audiences could see in place of the film's adorable Mexican lapdogs were delicious, charcoal-broiled rotisserie chihuahuas floating across the screen. 2. Eagle Eye - $17.7 million Meanwhile, this hi-tech thriller starring Shia LaBeouf (in his last pinkie-nail-intact role) continued to draw them in, in which he and Katie Holmes's MI3 stand-in play two strangers taunted mercilessly by That Lady Who Offers Voicemail Options. 3. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist - $12 million We had high hopes based on the cleverly culled clips used in the commercial, but came away extremely disappointed, as just about everything in this movie—from the queer band members cast by obviously straight dudes, to the CW-caliber dialogue, to the most disgusting sequence we've ever endured involving a wad of chewing gum—came off as just plain wrong, with the exception of Michael Cera, who somehow emerged unscathed. 4. Nights in Rodanthe - $7.355 million While we're not ones for Hallmark porn, we're confident that Richard Gere has achieved in Rodanthe yet another heart-shaped turd to toss onto his ever-growing shmalzography pile. 9. An American Carol - $3.810 millio

Published: 2008-10-06 Provider: Defamer Keywords: monday morning box office, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Top