Limp Bizkit Album: “Greatest Hitz [Edited]”

Weather or you like Limp bizkit, or you hate them, this c.d. is good for your collection. I personally love Limp Bizkit and thats because I like the music. I could care less about what the band does. I hardly believe anything the tabloids say anyways. Limp Bizkit used to be everywhere. Maybe this c.d. will take you to a better place in your life.

While taste is taste, and it differs from person to person, I can see no attraction in Limp Bizkit. I mean, I can understand why people like some of the groups I hate, but I see nothing in these guys. The only Bizkit fan I ever knew was rude, violent, homophobic, self-centered and dull-witted - five terms that describe our "anti-hero" (as I'm sure he'd love to be called) Fred Durst. First off, let us discuss the group's name, just so we have an idea of the intelligence level we're looking at. "Limp Biscuit" is a game frat boys play that involves putting a biscuit in a room, wanking thouroughly, and eating said biscuit after said wanking is done. Somehow I don't see how that could be considered "fun", but hey, frat boys are dumb, and Fred Durst has the maturity level of one. Draw your own conclusions.

Now, let's talk about the music. You like clunky, awkward "metal" riffs while our favorite moron raps about about how tough, sexy, misunderstood, and/or nonconformist he is? How about a drummer who's worse at his instrument than I am and a bassist you can barely hear? Perfect! These idiots are for you, then! They're like arena-nu-metal, I guess. Hide me. Seriously, Nookie, Break Stuff, Re-Arranged, Take a Look Around, the nauseating My Generation and the egotistical My Way are basically the same (forgettable) melody with different (excremental) lyrics. That's when they try for metal. When they do hardcore rap, that's when things get worse. Durst is no Chuck D - he isn't even Eminem or Vanilla Ice - so he hides behind guests such as Method Man (on the insulting All Together Now), or else tries to go solo (on the even more insulting Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)). I guess it's because I'm not a big fan of either rap (but Public Enemy rules! So does Run-DMC! And Souljah Boy doesn't! Neither does Dr Dre!) or nu-metal (if these guys aren't the biggest insult to rock in the business today, Slipknot is), but I have no appreciation for any of these songs. Now, onto the covers. I've never heard George Michael's original Faith, but to disgrace the Who's tremendous classic Behind Blue Eyes is just a sin. Whereas the Who's was one of the most sincere things ever recorded, Fred & friends gut it, make it sound like meaningless rock-star whining a la Blvd. of Broken Dreams, and subtracts the "prayer" section for a bridge that prostitutes the band even more than they usually prostitutes themselves. It's impressive, in the way a bomb going off is impressive. In the way me breakdancing is impressive. In other words, not only painful, but impressively so - it's some of the most pain you will ever feel while listening to rock, in fact.

Really, it's tempting to take after my amazon friend Wally Gator and just make review a long, loud, hearty laugh. Because lord knows it's more than what the Bizkiteers deserve. Now, I'm not a classic rock purist, no matter what this review may suggest - I really enjoy the music of Radiohead, Nirvana, Jane's Addiction, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkings, U2, R.E.M., Coldplay, the White Stripes, Stone Temple Pilots and Beck (I'm sure there are more, I just can't think of them). But this is more than scraping the bottom of the barrel. This is drilling a ten-mile hole beneath the barrel and scraping the bottom of that.

Hi everyone, are you ready for a wonderous, joyous TURKY DAY that is fortified with VITAMINS?!? :-D Well it's your old pal Mervie to review the new Limpy Bizkit album, "Greatest Hitz"!! YAY!!! :-D

I was at Bert's 99 Cent CD Shack the other day (remember, they have SPECIAL albums, like Ruffi! :-D Not like that silly U2!) and I sed, "Hey Bert, buenos quesadillas! ;-) hehehehe! Anywho I need new meeyosik for my little ones in my daycare in Pennsylvania (!!!)! Do you have anything light, poppy, silly, asinine, insipid and annoying?" Bert then took a copy of this albimmm and chucked it at my head, knocking me out cold for two hours!! :-O BUT ITS OK!! I woke up and saw the album and BOUGHT IT!!! WOW!!! LIMPY BIZKIT'S GREATEST HITZZZZZZZ - ALL ON ONE DISC?!?!? PINCH ME, I MUST BE DWEAMING!!! YAY!! :-D :-D :-D

Me and the little ones love hopping up and down to de songs contained within! :-) Although the first couple are a little loud for us :-O thats ok because it picks up with all de rest!! :-D Why do people listen to dose boring Pink Floyds when we have LIMPY BIZKIT and FREDDY DURST?!!??

I would've given it more stars but why do dey have to curse on the albimmms? :-( And also there are some glaring ommishins!! :-O Where is his duet with Eminem, "Annoying Whiteboyz Foreva Boyeee"? Where is the duet with Good Charlotte, "Our Demographic Are A Bunch Of Suckers"? I MISS DEM!! WAAAHHH! But its ok!! I love it anyway! ;-) BUY BUY BUY!!!

- Mervie!