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Picture: Single Minded: Shelby Lynne, Joe Jackson, Mars Volta, Vampire Weekend and Protest the Hero

Picture: Mika, Take That Lead Brit Award Nominations

Buying a Band: Not As Cool As It Sounds

If you happen to be a bajillionaire with really bad taste in music or a really weird sense of humor, you might consider “buying” that band Rednex (you know, the dudes responsible for that annoying “Cotton-Eyed Joe” song popular at any and all major sporting events.) So what does buying a band entail exactly? Well, according to the eBay post advertising this bizarre commercial endeavor, it means: The buyer will get 100% of the shares to the Swedish company Rednex AB (equivalent to Ltd.), which owns the trademark, all recordings, all contracts and negotiating rights and is in full power of the artistry. . . The owner of Rednex AB has, as he pleases, the right to record, release, style, tour and manage one of the most successful party bands of our time. The company owns the band, which actually works in a similar way to a company. Three words: False Fucking Advertising. If we are going to shell out $1.5 million to buy a band, we assume that means we will then own the members of said band. As in when our doorbell rings, they answer it; when our stomach grumbles, they feed it; when our will asserts itself, they bend to it. The only portion of the above stipulations that even remotely suggests the kind of indentured servitude we’d expect is the bit about Rednex’s owner being able to “style” and “manage” the band “as he pleases.” Presumably this means that if you feel like dressing up the three members of this totally middling band in pleather skirts and tea-cosy hats and staple Cabbage Patch Kids to their fore-arms, you can. That sort of placates us, but not really. What the hell, Rednex? Do you really think that someone who has the money to “buy” you will see the financial gain in procuring the rights to your back catalogue? Here’s hoping some sadistic sultan with billions to spare purchases you and makes you into the gimp from Pulp Fiction. Now, assuming you could actually buy a

Published: 2007-04-03
Provider: Rolling Stone
Keywords: General

Picture: LISTEN UP: Totally Not Complicated

The Office: You Need to Access Your Uncrazy Side

It took four episodes, but I'm pleased to make the following announcement: The Office is back to normal. For the first time this season, we were treated to an episode with great character development, wonderful lines, and hilarious gags. And Darryl. Oh, Darryl, dare I say you will be the breakout star of 2007? Too soon, right? OK, I'll sit tight but (through clenched teeth) I think you're gonna be the breakout star of 2007. Last night's episode dealt with something I myself worry about constantly: Money, the spending of money, and the losing of money. Don't let my Loehmann's threads fool you: At the end of the week, all the remaining money left in my bank account is immediately withdrawn and handed over to the nearest bartender. So watching Michael struggle to understand and deal with his impending bankruptcy wasn't easy. And knowing that Jan, who we had such high hopes for, was one of the reasons behind the spending didn't help things. She's leechy, that Jan girl. But on to the episode! Michael watches The Devil Wears Prada, and fancies himself an Editrix. I could watch people throwing things at others all day, so both the opening coat gag, and later on Jan throwing her car keys at Oscar, ranked high on my LOL-O-Meter. Dwight returns Angela's possessions, including a sleep apnea mask that looked more like a Ghostbusters Proton Pack. He manages, however, to keep one of her cherub figurines that he probably keeps his watch on, Pulp Fiction style. (Though he insists he doesn't have it, we think otherwise. One can only scrub their room of memories so much.) Dwight has been amazing this season -- in my opinion, the most consistent, enjoyable character on the whole show. Kevin has broken up with Scrantonicity and started his own band, Scrantonicity 2. And Michael has taken another job, as a Telemarketer. Which reminded me all too much of the time when I was in eighth grade, and I saw my middle school's Assistant Principal working at Macy's. At the time, I died inside, an

Published: 2007-10-19
Provider: VH1

Pulp: Most viewed pictures

The Seldom Seen Kid by Elbow

Single Minded: Shelby Lynne, Joe Jackson, Mars Volta, Vampire Weekend and Protest the Hero

Mika, Take That Lead Brit Award Nominations

Buying a Band: Not As Cool As It Sounds

LISTEN UP: Totally Not Complicated

The Office: You Need to Access Your Uncrazy Side

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