Disco de Ramones: “Rocket to Russia [Remaster]”

Like the Clash, the third time was the charm for the kings of Queens, who hotwired 1960s sincero-spunk ("Locket Love," "Do You Wanna Dance?") with 1970s chainsaw punk (which they singlehandedly invented on their debut and perfected on "Leave Home"), and somehow wound up in a dead heat with the Beach Boys for first place in the title bout for greatest surf combo ever ("Rockaway Beach," "Surfin' Bird" and especially "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker"). In the process, the protoboyz from da 'hood absolutely shredded anything and everything gobbed up by London's Class of '77 (listen to any Damned records lately?), not to mention their CBGB's peers (the combined careers of Blondie, Television and Talking Heads weren't as influential as "We're A Happy Family"). Even the pinheads-in-straightjackets schtick ("Cretin Hop," "I Wanna Be Well," "Teenage Lobotomy") sounded fresh, frenetic, fun and especially funny, unlike "I Don't Care," which reads like a suicide note written in her lipstick and left on the windowsill. The demo/outtake flotsam is better on the other reissues, but that's mostly because it's impossible to improve on perfection, crystallized in Tommy's four glorious every-drum-at-once beats that kickstart the last chorus of "Rockaway Beach," which rivals the first three minutes of the Stones' "Can't You Hear Me Knockin'?" as the most astounding, gut-wrenching, giddy, grand and life-affirming rock and roll moment ever. Gabba gabba get it before it gets you.

ROCKET TO RUSSIA was released in mid-1977, at the height of the fury that was known as Punk Rock. Sire Records was gearing up for some serious sales and betting a lot on the Ramones. It's no wonder, then, that the album has the band's cleanest, leanest, most accessible sound, refined to defiant, power-chorded perfection. It contains many of their classics, and every song is a finely crafted pop-rock gem. Here's a bit of poetry from "We're a Happy Family":

"Sitting here in Queens/ Eating refried beans/ We're in all the magazines/ Gulping down Thorazines/ I'm friends with the president/ I'm friends with the pope/ We're al making a fortune/ Selling daddy's dope"

How can any rock lover resist the obvious, sugary-yet-substantial charms of "Rockaway Beach," "Do You Wanna Dance," "Cretin Hop," "Locket Love"? (Well, apparently lots of "rock lovers" did just that, too busy buying up all that Kiss and Grand Funk Railroad and Fleetwood Mac swill in 1977). There's the nihilist's anthemic "I Don't Care," a punk dirge in which Joey declares "I don't care about this world/And I don't care about these words." "Ramona" is a bittersweet confection with a lovely melody.

And then there's the song that I consider to be the most perfect pop song ever written, "Sheena is a Punk Rocker." An ode to free spirits everywhere, to New York City, and to the power of identity that the best rock'n'roll provides, "Sheena" is everything that makes the Ramones great in 2 minutes and 47 seconds:

"Well, the kids are all hopped up and ready to go/ They got their surfboards and they're heading/ to the Discotheque a Go-Go/ But she just couldn't stay/ She had to break away/ Well New York City really has it all Oh yea-ah, oh yeah!"

Second verse, same as the first. A put-the-top-down, fist-in-the-air, sing-along radio-friendly classic if ever there was one. However, when it was released as a single, radio stations took one look at the phrase "punk rocker" and recoiled in fear. Really. It's funny to think today that that phrase once struck horror into the stoutest of record company hearts, but it's true. Ah well, surely the less-threatening sounding "Rockaway Beach," with its Beach Boys-go-garage vibe and unforgettable chorus ("Rock-rock, Rockaway Beach/It's not hard, not far to reach/ We can hitch a ride to Rockaway Beach") would leap to the top of the charts and ensconce the Ramones in the nation's warm bosom.

Except that this sunny, funny, delightful little ditty was released in the dead of winter. And it died. And that was it. The Ramones stopped cold. Despite relentless touring, the spectacle of Punk Rock was a dangerous one, and any band associated with it was thrown out with the bathwater. Plus, audiences outside of New York City's Lower East Side just couldn't get with four geeky-looking guys in motorcycle jackets, Captain America T-shirts two sizes too small and ripped-up blue jeans--not when there was John Travolta looking so suave and so dapper in his disco get-up!

The remastered version of this classic is beyond reproach--a booklet filled with photos I hadn't seen before and commentary by the illustrious Legs McNeil ("I mean, have you ever been to Rockaway Beach?" he writes. "The place is a sewer!"). Plus full lyrics, original record sleeve cartoons by John Holmstrom, and a nice little P.S. from Arturo Vega. The bonus songs are top-notch: the masterful "Slug" (this is a demo?!) and a slightly different version of "It's a Long Way Back to Germany" than the one on Road to Ruin. These are easily some of the finest re-issues on the market today--too bad Columbia didn't do the same when they redid the Clash catalogue last year.

So I say, screw disco and rock'n'roll forever! 1-2-3-4! Now the first four Ramones albums have been beautifully remastered, there's no reason for any home to be without 'em!

The best thing I can say about this record is that it is so eminently danceable, beginning with "Cretin Hop." This album is chock full of good, fun, songs, that hailed from a time when punk was still tongue-in-cheek enough not to take itself seriously as some kind of "social movement."

"Rockaway Beach" brings back memories of much of my childhood spent there. It's the ultimate surfer song spoof, not about California, but the filthy beaches along the outer borough of Queens, on the rotting boardwalks...stepping on pop tabs in the sand, and swimming in diluted sewage.

"I Don't Care" is Joey's hepcat to British Invasion rock as he affects a limey cockney whine. "We're a Happy Family" is reality radio a quarter century before the farce of "reality TV." Sort of a harbinger to the Bundys.

"Teenage Lobotomy" is also prescient, predicting almost word-for-word personages such as 'n'Sync and Backstreet Boys and their nubile, airheaded, fans.

However, the gem of this one is the bonus tracks "Needles and Pins" (a nice salute to the now late Sonny Bono, who wrote it, and who never knew what a great song he wrote until the Ramones put it down on wax) and the stripped down demo for "I Don't Care."

This is my second favorite, right behind "Road to Ruin," but about 10 of their albums can easily make that cut.

Joey and Dee Dee, your hard work and dedication to rock and having a good time have not been in vain.

Album Three for the Ramones, Rocket to Russia, is the Ramones album that SHOULD have made the Ramones a household name. Of course, it didn't....Nothing ever really went the way they should have for the Ramones! But honestly, this record is hit single after hit single. Only problem is that no one bought it.... Well, now you have the chance to rectify that situation. BUY IT NOW! RTR is just one long (well, 33 minute) hit parade for the listener.

Johnny Ramone, who was not much for interviews, would always claim RTR was the Ramones best album. (He never said his "favorite", he always said "our best") When asked why it was the best, Johnny would always answer, "It had the most hits." Well....the Ramones never had any hits, so it's hard to determine what Johnny meant. I figure he meant it had the most "hit" songs with the fans. If you look at the album, really only 4 of the 14 tunes weren't staples of the Ramones live set. That says a lot for any album! This album contains the Ramones best song, Sheena is a Punk Rocker. (Which also was included in later issues of Leave Home). Their ode to 60's rock, Ramones style, it is infectious. It also contains major Ramones "hits" Rockaway Beach, Cretin Hop, and Teenage Lobotomy. Cover tune, Do You Wanna Dance is here as well. You may remember it from the movie Rock n' Roll High School, as the Bruddas and students began their assault on the halls of Vince Lombardi High!

This would be the last album with the original four Ramones. Tommy would leave in favour of Marky, and take over the duties of a producer. Some fans call this the end of the "great Ramones", but it was only the begining! Road to Ruin would be next, and RTR is just a warm up. But, it is the third in a terrific string of albums which you should have already! BUY IT!!!!!

While the Ramones have produced a remarkable collection of primal rock n' roll albums that have sadly been overlooked for their near perfect grasp of what top 40 music always should have been, there is no greater celebration of American graffiti than Rocket to Russia. I can still remember the first time I heard Rocket gems such as Sheena is a Punk Rocker, Teenage Lobotomy, and Rockaway Beach. I was in sixth grade on the bus going to school. An older kid who lived down the street gave made me a tape of the album for Walkman play. The recording was terrible, the songs seemed too short and fast, and I could barely make out singers pouty whining. I knew at that moment I had found my own music. Rocket to Russia is a celebration of rock music itself, it is rock's greatest reminder of why we all listen in the first place.