Status Quo pictures from Defamer

Audrina Partridge Isn't Punking You; She Just Always Wanted An Oozing Arm Tattoo Declaring Her Love For Pork-Fried Rice [House Of Mirrors]

You've got to wake up puh-retty early in the morning to pull a fast one past the celebrity blogging community, Ashton Kutcher. At least that's what approximately 1200 gossip bloggers were saying today when faced with photos of The Hills supporting ho Audrina Partridge getting some tasty new ink at a Hollywood tattoo parlor. According to OK! magazine, the mystic Chinese phraseology she had etched into her forearm and then paraded, still-oozing, around high-density local paparazzi zones, translates loosely as, "The rice is fried in pork fat." (We throw it open to our Chinese-tattoo-translating readership for a more accurate interpretation.) Something so outlandish seemed almost certainly the handiwork of Kutcher's merry band of paparazzi punksters at E!'s Pop Fiction, who have ably proven the pranking damage they can reap with their already classic "Eva Longoria receives a ring from non-boyfriend Mario Lopez" episode. (Boy were our faces red!) Still, we think it would be foolish to underestimate Ashton's wily abilities, to say nothing of overestimating Partridge's celebrity status. No, bloggers: We're sorry to disappoint, but that tattoo is 100% real—and highly, highly infectious. All will be revealed on next week's Style Network premiere of Nick Carter's Punk Fiction, a sort of meta-Pop Fiction, in which Z-list famepires will subject themselves to extreme body modifications and life-threatening scenarios in the hopes that someone—anyone—will notice them. And if you think that's good, wait until episode two, when The Bachelor's Shayne Lamas saws off her own leg! Audrina Fries Her Rice in Pork Fat [OK!]

Published: 2008-03-29 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Ashton Kutcher, Audrina Partridge, House Of Mirrors, Pop Fiction, Reality TV, the hills

Audrina Patridge Isn't Punking You; She Just Always Wanted An Oozing Arm Tattoo Declaring Her Love For Pork-Fried Rice [House Of Mirrors]

You've got to wake up puh-retty early in the morning to pull a fast one past the celebrity blogging community, Ashton Kutcher. At least that's what approximately 1200 gossip bloggers were saying today when faced with photos of The Hills supporting ho Audrina Patridge getting some tasty new ink at a Hollywood tattoo parlor. According to OK! magazine, the mystic Chinese phraseology she had etched into her forearm and then paraded, still-oozing, around high-density local paparazzi zones, translates loosely as, "The rice is fried in pork fat." (We throw it open to our Chinese-tattoo-translating readership for a more accurate interpretation.) Something so outlandish seemed almost certainly the handiwork of Kutcher's merry band of paparazzi punksters at E!'s Pop Fiction, who have ably proven the pranking damage they can reap with their already classic "Eva Longoria receives a ring from non-boyfriend Mario Lopez" episode. (Boy were our faces red!) Still, we think it would be foolish to underestimate Ashton's wily abilities, to say nothing of overestimating Patridge's celebrity status. No, bloggers: We're sorry to disappoint, but that tattoo is 100% real—and highly, highly infectious. All will be revealed on next week's Style Network premiere of Nick Carter's Punk Fiction, a sort of meta-Pop Fiction, in which Z-list famepires will subject themselves to extreme body modifications and life-threatening scenarios in the hopes that someone—anyone—will notice them. And if you think that's good, wait until episode two, when The Bachelor's Shayne Lamas saws off her own leg! Audrina Fries Her Rice in Pork Fat [OK!]

Published: 2008-03-29 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Ashton Kutcher, Audrina Partridge, House Of Mirrors, Pop Fiction, Reality TV, the hills

Nicolas Cage Is A National Treasure [Monday Morning Box Office]

On these final few hours before the sugarplum-gorging orgy that begins at dawn, we dutifully tabulate for you, like a trembling Bob Cratchit scratching figures with a quill pen into the margins of the Scrooge & Marley ledger, the weekend's box office numbers: 1. National Treasure: Book of Secrets - $45.5 million Frankly, we don't know what took infallible superproducer Jerry Bruckheimer and supermuse Nicolas Cage this long to bring us another Treasure chapter: With Secrets conquering this weekend's box office (and bringing in $10 mil more than the original), the American-history-corrupting adventure serial has now graduated to official franchise&trade status. We're eagerly anticipating all future installments, including National Treasure: Three Dollar Bill, in which Cage and his ragtag band of bookish fortune-hunters discover that the Lincoln Memorial's head spins to the left when a Sacagawea and Susan B. Anthony dollar are placed in its orbital sockets, revealing a secret tunnel to J. Edgar Hoover's fabled lingerie closet. 2. I Am Legend - $34.2 million A 56% drop-off in receipts for the last-Will-on-Earth sci-fi thriller still brings Legend's take to an impressive $137.5 mil, though it might also indicate that the premise needed a little refining. Luckily, producers have already began making the proper adjustments for the sequel, replacing that German Shepherd (talented, but kind of one-note) with a grizzled straight-man for Smith to bounce his trademark one-liners off of, and those cheesy CGI zombies with a vast array of adorable aliens from Rick Baker's creature shop. 3. Alvin and the Chipmunks - $29 million "It's great to be in the singing chipmunk business," Chris Aronson, Fox's senior VP of distribution, told Variety; that's a 180° change of tune from what execs were saying about the Jason Lee family film when the forecast looked less sunny, dismissively referring to it as "the untitled Richard Gere project" and "Ratatouille for retards." 4. Charlie

Published: 2007-12-24 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Box Office, i am legend, monday morning box office, national treasure, Walk Hard