Visage pictures from Defamer

Ambivalent Ralph Macchio Coins 'Jackie Chan' As Pejorative [The Karate Kid]

The Karate Kid remake's turbulent, Defamer-aided casting process ended weeks ago, but that doesn't mean Ralph Macchio is ready to move on. Despite his sincere, how-bad-can-an-11-year-old-fuck-it-up endorsement of new Kid Jaden Smith last week at the Slamdance Film Festival, Macchio's boyish visage cracked, steamed and melted when contemplating Jackie Chan's inheritance of Mr. Miyagi. “I don’t know,” he told MTV News: "The thing is whether Jackie Chan gives you Jackie Chan, or if Jackie Chan does a, you know, real stretch to the character.” he explained. [...] “I think Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith, with a good script, and all the moons in alignment? It could be another big fat hit.” Poor Ralph. We'd presume that Sony is in fact counting on Chan's genre-slumming reliability to align these proverbial moons, but! Think of the moral leverage Macchio will have 25 years from now when Jaden Smith traverses his own Slamdance red carpet, second-guessing Mickey Rourke's next comeback as Knox Jolie-Pitt's sensei in another, wrestling-tinged franchise reboot. ‘Karate Kid’ Ralph Macchio Unsure About Jackie Chan as Mr. Miyagi [MTV]

Published: 2009-02-01 Provider: Defamer Keywords: The Karate Kid, Jackie Chan, Ralph Macchio

Lourdes Ciccone Leon Looks Less Like Madge, More Like That Other Celebrity Adoptress [The Sort Of Chosen One]

Until now, most onlookers have been noting just how much little Lourdes Ciccone Leon looks like her mother, the vitamin-injecting, leg-spreading Madonna. And while she does have her mom's naturally dark hair and piercing eyes, we think the 12-year old mini-Madge looks much more like another pillow-lipped celebrity you may have heard of. Particularly when we place Lourdes' current visage next to the star-in-question's glamour shots when she was just a teenager herself: While Angelina Jolie was a very mature sixteen years old when she posed for these cheezy photo store test pics, we can see Lourdes morphing into a version of the teenage epitome of gorgeousness in four short years. Undoubtedly Madonna has always been a sexy beast, but something about Lourdes' big red lips has us looking forward to the second coming of the most beautiful bad girl in decades. [Photo credits: Sean McCall via Daily Mail, Daily Mail] MADONNA'S DAUGHTER LOURDES STEALS MUM'S SUNGLASSES TO RECREATE HER EIGHTIES' SUPERSTAR LOOK [Daily Mail] INTRODUCING ANGELINA JOLIE AS A 16-YEAR OLD SWIMSUIT MODEL [Daily Mail]

Published: 2008-04-29 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Angelina Jolie, lourdes cuccione leon, Madonna, shiloh jolie-pitt, The Sort Of Chosen One

Does Landing The Cover Of People's 'Most Beautiful' Issue Come With A Curse? [Beautiful And Damned]

Today, People has revealed that Kate Hudson will appear as the cover girl for their 2008 Most Beautiful People issue, and we'd certainly like to send out a hearty congrats to the recently divorced single mom who's currently nursing Owen Wilson back to health. But after taking a look back at the list of stars who've previously nabbed the annual issue's cover spot, we fear there may be a curse accompanying the glossy honor. Sure, Leonardo DiCaprio (1998) and Julia Roberts (2000, 2005) haven't slipped up since having their smiley visage top the list, but a sizeable chunk of the winning alumni eerily saw their public and private lives undergo a downward spiral following their appearance on the issue's cover. We took a closer look at the possible curse-laden honor after the jump: Meg Ryan appeared on the special issue's third cover, following Jodie Foster and Cindy Crawford, in 1994. Happily married to Dennis Quaid and still enjoying that whole America's Sweetheart phase, Ryan was a natural choice. But as we all know, five years later Ryan entered an affair with Proof Of Life co-star Russell Crowe, which led to divorce, trout pout and making dirty movies. Oops. As for Mel Gibson, People's 1996 cover star, beauty gradually descended into bigotry and all kinds of sugar tit-laden anti-Semitic madness we just don't even feel like discussing in detail at the moment. The very next year, none other than Tom Cruise and his uber-serious mug graced the cover. Officially adored by the world after appearing in Jerry Maguire the year before, Cruise was still married to Nicole and every woman in the country felt that Cruise truly "completed" them. But after hiring a divorce lawyer, a beard (in the form of Penelope Cruz), and a new wife, Cruise's beauty is now only recognized by those with OT-V clearance and above. And finally, 2004's issue featured a blissfully married Jennifer Aniston, who sadly spent most of her interview "laugh[ing] off speculation of then-husband Brad Pitt's rum

Published: 2008-04-30 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Angelina Jolie, Beautiful And Damned, Brad PItt, Dennis Quaid, Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Meg Ryan, Mel Gibson, most beautiful people, People, Russell Crowe, Tom Cruise, Top

Jude Law In Bitter Struggle To Save His Hair [Gigolo Joe]

When we first saw some screen shots from Jude Law's upcoming My Blueberry Nights, we couldn't help noticing the actor's abundance of messy highlighted hair atop his winky visage. Especially when compared to his respectable, but ever-so-slightly receding hairline in Alfie. And after being photographed in London recently sporting the beginnings of a George Costanza 'do, our suspicions that his character's curls in MBN were extensions for boys: " [Jude] is reported to be so worried about his receding hairline that he has consulted a Harley Street expert, in a bid to save his locks." According to the Daily Mail, even his ex-wife Sadie Frost is on board the Save Jude's Hair train. She's said to be "encouraging him to seek advice from experts in Chinese medicine, homeopathy and acupuncture." How exactly a Chinese healer will go about growing strands up there is beyond us, but we do have to applaud Law for prancing about with such a strange hairline in public. We can only hope he doesn't pull a complete Costanza and buy one of those Trump-like flyaway tops. We'd have to make like Elaine and track him down, rip it off his gorgeous head, and throw it out the nearest window. [Photo credits: Rex, Scope via Daily Mail] LAW OF DIMINISHING FRINGES: JUDE LAW REVEALS HIS RAPIDLY RECEDING HAIRLINE [Daily Mail]

Published: 2008-04-16 Provider: Defamer Keywords: balding, Gigolo Joe, Jude Law, My Blueberry Nights

Did They Or Didn't They? (Botox, That Is) [Nips And Tucks]

A story in Sunday's LAT did the unthinkable by finally pointing out the big Botoxed elephant in the room: no matter how painfully obvious it is to viewers, many stars who get nipped and tucked insist on denying it. But as the Times argues, just how many episodes of this season's Dancing With The Stars or Desperate Housewives can we sit through before drawing our own conclusions? Have you seen Priscilla Presley lately? And if celebrities are going so far as to undergo actual "head transplants," when will they finally start fessing up? We took a look at a few of the stars in question, such as Teri Hatcher and Carrie Fisher, to innocently throw some visual evidence into the mix. As the Times notes, Hatcher "has both confirmed and denied" having work done, but the image at left of Hatcher in 1991's Soapdish shows a smoother, plumper visage. And Carrie Fisher's triumphant and hilarious guest appearance on 30 Rock last year was tarnished only because "you had to hit the rewind button a few times to make sure it was her." As much as we adore Barbara Walters til death does us part, it's hard to ignore her incapability to express more than one stoic expression on The View these days. And Melanie Griffith's less-than-stellar career of late hasn't been helped by what the Times refers to as "much-speculated-upon changes to [her] visage." And then there are the two wild cards. As easy as it seems to label Priscilla and Marcia Cross as Botox users, we can't help but notice how similar they look to their decade(s)-old versions. Maybe we're going out on a limb, but is it possible that these two were simply born with sky-high eyebrow arches and remarkable cheekbones? As they say, maybe she's born with it. [Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage] ON TV: BOTOX. FACE-LIFTS. RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY. [LAT]

Published: 2008-04-15 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Barbara Walters, Botox, Carrie Fisher, Dancing With the Stars, Desperate Housewives, getty, Marcia Cross, Melanie Griffith, Nips And Tucks, Priscilla Presley, Teri Hatcher, Wireimage

Scientologists Recruit Will Smith In Effort To Break Into Enturbulated Urban Markets [Scientology]

Earlier this month we discussed whether or not Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' double date with Forest Whitaker and his wife Keisha was less about baby talk and more about Xenu talk. And while we didn't rush to the race card, MSNBC is reporting that TomKat and the CoS are intent on luring more African-American stars onto the Knights of Hubbard bowling team: "Will is definitely in the process of becoming a member, 'He's been getting more and more involved. And it isn't just him, it's definitely Jada, too. It's that as he becomes more involved, you'd think he'd sort of help fly the flag with Tom (Cruise), who seems to only get a bad rap for it, while Will does this and comes through just fine.'" However, Will, Jada and Forest aren't the only stars benefiting from Scientology's new affirmative action plan.According to an upcoming cover story in Radar, designer and Style Channel star Kimora Lee Simmons has been involved with the Church for years, even lending her recognizable visage to promotional materials used in a children's school in 2006. Apparently Scientology leader David Miscavige "spoke glowingly of Kimora Lee Simmons' efforts to distribute a personalized edition of Hubbard's The Way to Happiness' featuring her image on the cover, to school kids in New Jersey." Interesting. Naturally, reps for Will and Kimora deny the fact that they're Scientologists. But, as we noted two months ago, Will disturbingly gave free coupons for personality tests at an E-Meter outlet to the entire cast and crew of Hancock as his wrap gift. We know Will's a funny guy, but this action doesn't pass the sniff test for being some sort of Kutcher-esque prank. And Kimora's career has been taking off a bit of late (working with E! on their red carpet, etc.). Now, if only Cruise and Miscavige can get Oprah on board, they'll really be onto something... [Photo Credit: Wire Image] WILL SMITH, JADA THE NEW FACES OF SCIENTOLOGY? [The Scoop]

Published: 2008-03-17 Provider: Defamer Keywords: david miscaviage, Gawker, jada pinkett smith, Katie Holmes, Kimora Lee Simmons, Knights Of Hubbard, Scientology, Tom Cruise, Top, Will Smith, Wireimage

Scientology Wants To Go Black, But Will The Smiths Come Back? [Knights Of Hubbard]

Earlier this month we discussed whether or not Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' double date with Forest Whitaker and his wife Keisha was less about baby talk and more about Xenu talk. And while we didn't rush to the race card, MSNBC is reporting that TomKat and the CoS are intent on luring more black stars onto the Knights of Hubbard bowling team: "Will is definitely in the process of becoming a member, 'He's been getting more and more involved. And it isn't just him, it's definitely Jada, too. It's that as he becomes more involved, you'd think he'd sort of help fly the flag with Tom (Cruise), who seems to only get a bad rap for it, while Will does this and comes through just fine.'" However, Will, Jada and Forest aren't the only stars benefiting from Scientology's new affirmative action plan.According to an upcoming cover story in Radar, designer and Style Channel star Kimora Lee Simmons has been involved with the Church for years, even lending her recognizable visage to promotional materials used in a children's school in 2006. Apparently Scientology leader David Miscaviage "spoke glowingly of Kimora Lee Simmons' efforts to distribute a personalized edition of Hubbard's The Way to Happiness' featuring her image on the cover, to school kids in New Jersey." Interesting. Naturally, reps for Will and Kimora deny the fact that they're Scientologists. But, as we noted two months ago, Will disturbingly gave free coupons for personality tests at an E-Meter outlet to the entire cast and crew of Hancock as his wrap gift. We know Will's a funny guy, but this action doesn't pass the sniff test for being some sort of Kutcher-esque prank. And Kimora's career has been taking off a bit of late (working with E! on their red carpet, etc.). Now, if only Cruise and Miscaviage can get Oprah on board, they'll really be onto something... WILL SMITH, JADA THE NEW FACES OF SCIENTOLOGY? [The Scoop]

Published: 2008-03-17 Provider: Defamer Keywords: David Miscavige, jada pinkett smith, Katie Holmes, Kimora Lee Simmons, Knights Of Hubbard, Scientology, Tom Cruise, Will Smith

Patrick Swayze Not Having The Time Of His Life, Having A Cigarette Instead [Smoke Alarm]

When we watched the last season of The Sopranos, we remember watching Johnny Sack freely smoke cigarettes in his hospital gown despite having terminal cancer and feeling completely indifferent. One more of Tony's adversaries going down in a puff of smoke was, in the context of the show, actually something to smile about. But seeing the cancer-stricken visage of Patrick Swayze doing the same thing? Frankly, it guts us. At this point, we're not sure whether to watch the last scene of Dirty Dancing over and over again while fighting back tears or to hop a plane to wherever Swayze is at the moment and personally pluck the cig from his lips. Seen here post-diagnosis, it seems Swayze just can't kick the habit, no matter how brutal it is on his body: "Pals say he can't quit smoking despite it being linked to a third of pancreatic cancers...Patrick's wife Lisa, 51, is liquidising high-fat dinners as he is having trouble keeping down solid foods."So Swayze can't keep down food, but he's still smoking? As, ahem, sometimes-smokers ourselves, that's plenty of incentive for us to quit smoking forever cut down a bit. And, as you might expect, Tom Cruise found a way to insert himself into the situation. Surprisingly, though, he resisted the urge to tear into a propaganda-laced diatribe; , instead, he issued this statement about his co-star from The Outsiders: "We are all praying for a quick recovery." Us, too. Put down the smokey treats, Patrick ... we're all pulling for you. [Photo Credit: Splash] PATRICK SWAYZE SUFFERING FROM CANCER PUFFS ON A CIGARETTE [The Sun]

Published: 2008-03-14 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Cancer, Patrick Swayze, Smoke Alarm, Splash, Tom Cruise

Paris Hilton Hires Buddhist 'Guru' As New Shopping Buddy [Buddhism For Dummies]

If any of you had the fortune of seeing Susan Sarandon and Ralph Fiennes in HBO's latest TV movie Bernard and Doris, you may remember the tobacco heiress's inexplicable desire to adopt a hare krishna healer. And now, following in the aristocratic footsteps of her idolized lady-who-lunch predecessors, Paris Hilton has decided to add a Buddhist monk "guru" to her ever-changing collection of confusing, flamboyant accessories. The gray-bearded, orange-robed monk has now replaced her standard arm candy of dogs, D-list actors and purses emblazoned with her own visage on them. But is Paris genuinely interested in learning the ways of the Dalai Lama, or is she eerily mirroring Duke's descent into madness?And what sort of enlightened activities are the new LA couple up to these days? Well, for one thing, the pair is fond of staging elaborate spiritual lessons, including photos of the as-yet-unnamed guru teaching Bimbo Summit leader lessons from a book called The Path To The Painted Shaman, and driving around LA drinkin' Starbucks and talkin' inner peace. Though we're reminded of Paris's five-second religious awakening, that period merely included staged photos of Paris clutching the Bible (which she, uh, apparently didn't actually read), this new fella in Paris' life may actually be doing some good. According to the Daily Mail, The Bearded One has already convinced the lingerie-wearing birthday girl to "give away a piece of diamond jewelery as they wandered the streets together." Geez, and all Duke's healer did was run off with all her money. Maybe this five-minute fling may actually do some good? [Photo Credit: X17] THE ODD COUPLE: PARIS HILTON TOURS LA WITH BUDDHIST MONK FRIEND [Daily Mail]

Published: 2008-03-03 Provider: Defamer Keywords: bernard and doris, Buddhism For Dummies, doris duke, Hbo, Paris Hilton, ralph fiennes, Susan Sarandon

First Photo of Brad Pitt Hints 'Basterds' Is Just a Catalogue Shoot [War Heroes]

After a long slog winning over everyone from skeptical Germans to Cloris Leachman, Quentin Tarantino is already a little more than a week into shooting his World War II action epic Inglourious Basterds [sic]. And now the first photo from the set features star Brad Pitt in smooth, modelesque repose — just the way we remember our grandfathers telling us about the European front. See him in all his Nazi-scalping sartorial splendor after the jump. We thought at first that Pitt looked a little aged as Basterds' Lt. Aldo Raine; maybe not Benjamin Button-aged, but certainly more distinguished than the frosted flake he portrayed last month in Burn After Reading or the sandaled hero sure to follow in his forthcoming The Odyssey. It's most likely just us, though, perhaps having missed the stage direction in Tarantino's bootlegged script that called for "a tall, brooding Jew, Abercrombie-coiffed, and boasting the weathered visage of one top-secret orphan-hunt too many." Either way, wake us up when Cloris arrives. First Look At 'Inglourious' Brad Pitt [Empire via /Film]

Published: 2008-10-18 Provider: Defamer Keywords: War Heroes, Brad PItt, inglorious bastards, Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino

Jessica Alba, By The Numbers: Rotten To The Core [Charts]

Our first indication that something might be awry with Jessica Alba's career came not when that guy on TRL told her that getting pregnant was "Not cool, dude", but rather when we saw the one-sheet for her new movie, The Eye. While certainly a captivating Photoshop job (ish), we found it fairly bizarre that Lionsgate would choose NOT to use the beautiful visage of one of the most lusted-after actresses in the world to promote their film. But then we did some research on Rotten Tomatoes and realized something very important. Save for fanboy fave Sin City, no one really seems to have liked any of the films she's starred in.While it cannot be argued that Jessica Alba has appeared in a couple of box office successes since graduating from the small screen (namely, the Fantastic Four franchise), it can be argued that these few bright spots had little to nothing to do with Miss Alba's acting chops or on-screen charisma and everything to do with the existing popularity of the material in question. As for the fate of The Eye, well, it sure looks like Lionsgate is gonna have their hands full now that Hannah Montana is on the scene. Don't fret, Jessica -- there's always prosethetics! Rotten Tomatoes

Published: 2008-02-01 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Charts, Jessica Alba, Lionsgate, Rotten Tomatoes

Things To Do In WeHo When You're Undead [To Do]

· Music round-up: The Pogues with Ted Leo and the Pharmacists at the Wiltern; Tristeza at the Echo; The Deadly Syndrome at Spaceland; Danzig at the Greek. · AFI Fest screens Psycho at the ArcLight for free, Jack Nicholson's terrifying visage will haunt the picnicking moviegoers who cram into Hollywood Forever's showing of The Shining, and the Aero's presentation of The Omen will remind you all over again why you don't want to have kids. · If you're determined to go clubbing in your slutty witch/devil/inmate/maid/schoolgirl costume, there's Crash Mansion LA's Massacre, Heidi Klum's Cabana Club event, Mood's Halloween Haunt, Avalon's Hex, or the Bondage Ball at the Henry Fonda. OK, we'll stop now. · And though you hardly need us to remind you about it, West Hollywood's Halloween Carnaval will offer hundreds of thousands of costumed frotteurists a place to rub up against each other as they try to navigate an overcrowded Santa Monica Blvd.

Published: 2007-10-31 Provider: Defamer Keywords: To Do

Celebrity Tattoo Horrors: Why Inking Bald Britney And Bob Barker's Menacing Grin Is Never A Good Idea [La Ink]

At some point in all our lives, we must ask ourselves: to tattoo or not to tattoo? We have yet to take the plunge, but when and if we do, we most certainly will not be inking our bodies with Pee Wee Herman, Bald Britney or (gasp!) Patrick Swayze as a centaur. But as a photo gallery over at EW proves, there are more than enough insane fans out there who are so in love with their favorite stars that they’ve etched a permanent image of their visage on their bodies. One might think a popular celebrity tat would be, say, Pamela Anderson or Scarlett Johansson, or maybe even Brangelina. But, sadly, it seems the sort of fan who goes through the pain of imprinting rainbow-colored images of their idols are mainly of the Jack Jordan stalker variety. The bad, the ugly, and the downright nightmarish tattoos in question, after the jump. Of all the pictures of Britney, her post-umbrella carnage rage face is an admittedly charming choice, but we're not as thrilled to see Jack Black making his Holier-And-Far-Wittier-Than-Thou face. As for the Paul Reubens tat, the fan was at least smart enough to use a Pee Wee Herman pic, rather than an image of Paul huddled in a dirty movie theater with hands occupied. And poor, poor Patrick Swayze. While we'll likely never know exactly why or how someone got the idea to tattoo themselves with Patrick Swayze as a centaur, at least we're glad to see him wearing his outfit from the infamous SNL Chippendales skit (although, Chris Rock might have a different opinion). By far the single most frightening Bob Barker image we've ever seen (shouldn't the text read "Come On Down And Fondle My Cock!" instead?). Maddox is not the worst tattoo idea in the world, but why does his tongue resemble the Devil's? Oprah looks the best we've ever seen her look on one fan's arm, but this sneering Zack Morris image has officially scarred our fond memories of the big blond man on campus for life. [Photo credits: EW] CELEBRITY SKIN: 21 TATTOOS OF FAMOUS FACES [EW]

Published: 2008-05-28 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Bob Barker, Britney Spears, Jack Black, la ink, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Mark paul gossalaar, Oprah Winfrey, Patrick Swayze, Paul Reubens, Pee Wee Herman

Cameron Diaz Goes Bald And Not-So-Beautiful For Next Movie Role [Coneheads]

Just a week after Britney Spears’ rumored sex tape forced us to envision bald celebrity sex, Cameron Diaz is flouncing around the set of her new movie wearing a fitted baldie cap for the role. And screaming at us from the newsstands about how much she loves sex. And making out with her co-stars. All of it burning images into our heads we’d really rather erase for life. Because Diaz isn’t only making us picture her hairless visage rolling around the sheets with Jason Patric — we’re now forced to imagine what it looked like when the Coneheads stripped down and got it on. More pictures after the jump. In My Sister's Keeper, Diaz plays a woman who decides to go bald after her daughter loses her hair due to illness. Which is remarkably similar to that episode of Sex And The City when Smith shaves his head because Samantha is losing her hair. Only that was quasi-romantic and a mere one-episode story line, whereas Diaz's hair loss appears to be a major non-alluring factor throughout the whole film. Is it just us, or does she look just like Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtin's daughter in Coneheads? Without needing a prosthetic cone at all? THERE'S SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT MARY...SHE'S A BALDIE [Daily Mail]

Published: 2008-05-22 Provider: Defamer Keywords: Cameron Diaz, coneheads, Jason Patric, My Sister's Keeper, Sex And The City

Whatchu Talkin Bout, Schneider? [Short Ends]

newVideoPlayer("coleoned_defamer.flv", 463, 387,"");· "If I could bottle the sexual tension between Bonnie Franklin and Schneider, I could solve the energy crisis." At least that's what Troy Dire said while watching a One Day At A Time re-run in the seminal Gen X opus Reality Bites. We can only imagine how depressed he would've become at the sight of a menopausal Bonnie Franklin. Even worse would've been the look on his face after seeing the visage of the now irascible Schneider sans his trademark pencil-thin pornstache. Reunions ain't always what their cracked up to be. However, we think he would've gotten a good chuckle from Arnold Drummond's surprise appearance on the set. · The next time you make your way to Jupiter, Florida, be sure and stop at the Burt Reynolds Museum! We hear that the cryogenically frozen corpses of his Cannonball Run co-stars, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr, are worth the trip in and of themselves. [Burt Reynolds Museum] · Everybody's favorite underage film critic, Sexman, is back with a brand new review of Jumper ("It sucked. It sucked major. Rambo 3 was better than that piece of shit.") This goes without saying, but if you are related to Hayden Christensen, you won't want to watch this. [YouTube] · We stopped watching Fox's Moment Of Truth after two episodes, mainly because it failed to be as sadistically voyeuristic as we had been led to believe. Looks like we stopped watching too early! [Vulture]

Published: 2008-02-27 Provider: Defamer Keywords: moment of truth, Short Ends